Lately, I’ve been thinking back to the early months after my and my mom’s cancer diagnoses. It was an intense time emotionally, but one feeling that kept coming up for me was gratitude.

I was feeling so grateful to be alive, to get a chance to reevaluate my life, to really LIVE in a deliberate way that truly made me happy. 

I said YES to so many things I wanted to do. I made FUN, adventure, and family my priorities. Letting go of working so hard, I honored myself and what I wanted.

I realized that the prognosis could have been very different for me, but the universe spared me. I decided that no matter how much time I had left on the planet, I was going to damn well make the most of it.

Recently, however, I’ve been feeling disconnected from that aliveness. I wasn’t even sure exactly what was missing or what was different. I just knew I felt a little “off”.

A few weeks ago when I was out backpacking in the woods I asked a question: “what does my soul want me to know?”

About halfway through the trip, I heard the whisper “don’t take life so seriously” in my head and I knew it was a message from my soul.

Yes! I thought. THIS is that feeling. The motivation to keep making my life amazing. The permission I gave myself to let go of the shoulds. The inspiration to do exactly what lights me up. 

So lately, I’ve been revisiting and asking myself what would light me up the most. I’m contemplating what would make me feel the most whole, and the most like “me”.

What would light YOU up? What small thing would make you feel just a little bit more like “you”?

DM me over on Instagram @juliabaldwintaylor and let me know.